Arshad Sharif’s assassination has disturbed me to an extent where I think that dying for the sake of this country is totally useless and just not worth it. Risking your life so that this stupid nation gets to know the facts? Just not worth it.

Whenever I attend a funeral and meet the family of the deceased, my own trauma revisits. I have been hooked to TV ever since the news of Arshad’s killing surfaced, it almost feels like I attended his funeral personally. Looking at his kids reminded me of my younger self crying silently at my Father’s funeral, putting up a brave face and being polite to everyone.

Honestly, your tragedy properly hits you once the Janazah leaves the house. When you are left alone to face the world and the same people who cried with you at the funeral will now behave casually since they have done their part.

I remember people expecting us to act normally after a few months or so, meanwhile in my house happy events often turned into a cry-fest even after an year of my father’s death. We had to learn how to feel completely happy yet we were expected to include people in our lives like people do normally. We were expected to do everything by the book.

Its always a family’s loss! No matter how good a person has been to the world, relatives, friend or society, No one cuts the family of the deceased some slack since they have been traumatized for lifetime. Arshad’s kids are going to feel their father’s absence every day of their lives, they are going to be sensitive to a lot of things, they are not going to behave socially correct and the same society who is upset today, would be tough on them.

Ab to aik saal guzar gaya!
Waqt k saath dukh kam hojata hay!
Ahista Ahista zindagi normal hojati hay!
Let me break it to you: NO! It doesn’t work like this.
No! they will not invite you often.
No! they might not include you in their happy events.
No! they might not dress up on Eid.
No! They might not be their old selves.

Grief is a long process and every individual reacts differently to trauma. You can shove this social standard anywhere you like but never expect a grieving family to be on track when you think its the right time.

Our behaviors are no different whether its an assassination or a lay man’s death. That’s how we are as a nation, as people. We are not trauma informed, decent and aware! We are ruthless, insensitive and indifferent to other’s pain. We are selfish and self-serving!

I have lost hope!

From here, it’s just pain!

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Written By admin On November 16th, 2022

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